- We spent 7 months making inquiries and phone calls just to figure out how adoption worked in Dominica. We finally got the right contacts and learned that we needed to identify a child in need of adoption on our own.
- Nic walked into a coffee shop and heard the words, “I found kids for you!” Two days later we met two women in need of a home for their children.
- The next morning, both women said they would like us to adopt their children. We were faced with an impossible choice: two sisters or little Jonathan. We decided to contact the mother of the sisters first, and move forward with that adoption if she was still willing.
Chapter IV: Receiving direction
. . . A male voice answered the phone . . . and Nic’s conversation with the man went something like this:
“Um, hi. I was calling for ‘Amanda’. We met on Thursday about the adoption of her two girls.”
“No, man. This is their father. Forget it. We’re not giving them up for adoption.” (It turns out this is the man who was in jail just a few days prior for beating the girls’ mother. This was also the man who a few days prior had said he was 100% behind the adoption.)
“Oh, okay. A few days ago you really wanted to do this.”
“Nope. Not gonna happen. Move on, man.”
“Um, okay. Uh, thanks for your time.”
Nic, knowing that we actually would need to “move on” and begin the adoption process with another child, called the man back. Nic had to ensure that he understood; if he and the mother changed their minds in the next couple of months, but we were already adopting someone else, we wouldn’t be able to help them at that point. However, he was met again with the same staunch finality. Their father absolutely did not want to proceed with the adoption. This man emanated such a casually confident air, that I couldn’t help but be reminded of everyone’s favorite guy from Lincoln Park.
So, that first meeting with those two little sisters was actually our last, and we haven’t heard anything about them since. This moment that brings them to mind, however, is the perfect chance to say a prayer for them. And, as of right now, that’s all we can continue to do for the two little girls that filled our hearts and minds for a short weekend.
With that brief and surprising conversation behind us, Nic and I turned our thoughts to Jonathan, the adorable boy I had held a few days ago. 99% of us said “YES! ABSOLUTELY we will adopt this little boy.” 1% of us, however, was confused; We had always planned to adopt siblings—that was our dream. Why, now, were we presented with just one child? We had always been so sure of adopting siblings, that this truly gave us pause. But, as we considered it further, we decided to trust whatever God brought into our lives. Because we have faced infertility, we have long-since known that having children is simply not under our control in any way. For us, it’s going to happen as God designs it, and we aren’t going to get to plan it at all. And, actually, I’ve come to find peace in that. There are several enormous decisions that I get to escape: when to have kids, how many kids to have, how many years in between each one. Instead, I guess I just get to sit back and see what comes about. Though that is putting it a little too simply, you get the general idea :). So, just as having a biological child isn’t under our control, we decided that the adoption didn’t have to be under our control either. Perhaps having one little boy was the perfect plan for us. Maybe we were destined to become the next Three Musketeers, Three Amigos, or even Three Tenors! What if me, Nic, and little Jonathan were the perfect fit? Full of inspiration, we decided to walk in this path God had laid before us. After all . . .
BUT, before I let myself get carried away in dreams of forming the world’s greatest trio, we still had to call Jonathan’s mother. Maybe she had changed her mind, too. It wasn’t quite time to get our hopes up. Yet again, we had a terrifying phone call ahead of us. The second call was made just as the first–with excitement, fear, anticipation, and a bit of panic. This time, however, instead of an unfamiliar voice, Jonathan’s mother answered the phone. When Nic asked the frightening question, “Are you still needing us to adopt your son?”, THIS was the reply.
With insane excitement, Nic also asked if she’d be willing to come to a meeting with the social worker. This meeting would be our first step. Again, and to our great joy, TA-DA!
It was a Monday morning and we planned the meeting for the coming Friday. Maybe this was actually going to happen!!!! Maybe we were on our way to becoming the Three Musketeers! It was hard to contain the excitement and dreaming . . .
Still, the tiny, little “realistic” voice in my head told me to slow down. “Nothing is certain yet, Jacelyn. So much still has to happen. Besides, until the final moment when a judge deems an adoption official, a child’s mother can change her mind at any time.” I’m not a huge fan of this little realistic voice (I like to call it my boring side), but I did decide to try and guard my heart–a bit. I should probably try not to fall in love with Jonathan just yet. I’d try to remain calm and cool (obviously two of my defining characteristics) and see how the process would unfold.
Was this it? Had we just met our future child, or would Jonathan’s mother change her mind before Friday? Would we even make it to our very first official adoption meeting?
To find out, you’re going to have to wait for Chapter V!
If you pray, when you pray, pray for us.
On to the next thing…